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Relationship Advice Thread


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On 5/2/2021 at 12:08 PM, Ty21 said:

Story got super ****ed up and depressing. 
 

-girl (mentioned above) and I were hitting it off but she was softly with her boyfriend who is abusive/she doesn’t want to be w. I thought things were heating up but then she rekindled things w him and I was bummed as I already mentioned

-I was straight up with her after my post here and we both confessed feelings for each other and that was kinda that

-then we kinda ended up hooking up last week after I randomly came over. she said she was done w him. I didn’t come over to hook up w her, it just happened 

-she broke it off with him but then later on found out she is 5 weeks pregnant w him 

 

so yeah I’m kinda decimated rn. 

We ended up hooking up for like all of last night. This is the most random peculiar situation of my life 

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I think you need to tread carefully here particularly in light of the fact that she and another guy are bringing a baby into the world. Jmo. I’m sure I’m not telling you anything you don’t know, but there are a lot of layers to a situation like that. 

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22 hours ago, Ty21 said:

We ended up hooking up for like all of last night. This is the most random peculiar situation of my life 

Be careful, my man. Not only is this dude abusive, but she's pregnant with his child. Tread carefully. Situation's like this can end badly. 

 

Also, morally- it's pretty ****ed up to hook up with a woman who is clearly still in limbo with her bf, especially considering she's pregnant.

Ive done some crazy **** in my past, so im not throwing stones here. Im just saying- this phase youre going through with this woman will not end well. Hopefully you can grow from it.

Edited by WizeGuy
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On 4/27/2021 at 3:47 PM, ET80 said:

I have a philosophy in life - if you see it, you do it. I've been that way since before I was married. So, it just gets done.

This is largely how we do it as well.

There’s certain things that get divided based on who is okay with doing thing, and others based on time available to do things, but it’s not like concrete. I work from home, and she works out of the home; so I just empty the dishwasher while I’m on my lunch break, and on Friday I try to find a bit of time gather up and get a load of laundry in the washer while I’m on a break. But during tax season, this stuff isn’t getting done because of how busy I am, and I might forget to do it otherwise because I’m stressed or whatever or just went ADHD brain and forgot. 

So if she opens the dishwasher and sees clean dishes, she doesn’t yell or anything, she just starts putting them away. I forgot, it’s okay; it happens. Sometimes she forgets too, and I’m the one who hops in. It’s okay. And if I’m not busy and see her doing something that is normally “my job,” I hop in and help. Same for most things. If she’s working on something that’s typically something she takes care of and I’m free and it’ll actually be helpful for me to jump in, I do. Same for her. And if the other person isn’t there and we’re feeling overwhelmed by what’s in front of us, the other is almost always a “hey, can you come help me” away. 

Other things, there’s ways to make workarounds. Neither of us like vacuuming. Instead of arguing about who should do it or it never getting done, we bought a high end Roomba to make sure we rarely have to do it ourselves.

Being like this, we’ve literally never argued about housework — not even once. It all works because it’s clear neither of us are trying to take advantage of the other person and we both want the same thing and both are willing to do what we see as our fair share. We come at it understanding that, and then don’t sweat the small things. We never really spent too much time discussing it. We just both understood that’s how it works best. Sometimes my inattentive ADHD means I forget to do something or literally don’t see and process that it needs to be done, sometimes she has a really stressful day with some bad patients and needs to unwind instead of doing a chore. It’s okay. The other one can jump in and take on a little more that day. And if something doesn’t get done right away, arguing does nothing to solve the fact that it’s not done. And the truth is, most things truly can wait until tomorrow if they get missed today. 

It makes me much happier and it’s just so much easier to just hop in and get something done and get it over with than to spend 15 minutes getting into an argument about how she should have done something only for it still to not be done because we spent that time arguing. 

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first time ever going to a social gathering for singles this past week and it was super fun.  it was a co-ed kickball social for singles.  met a few nice women.  got a few of their numbers too.  this group usually have events every other week so im definitely going to try and go to them.  i should have done this years ago lol. 

heck, even the guys there were cool.  4 of them and i went out to bowling last night. 

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On 5/10/2021 at 9:47 AM, Texansfan713 said:

first time ever going to a social gathering for singles this past week and it was super fun.  it was a co-ed kickball social for singles.  met a few nice women.  got a few of their numbers too.  this group usually have events every other week so im definitely going to try and go to them.  i should have done this years ago lol. 

heck, even the guys there were cool.  4 of them and i went out to bowling last night. 

excellent! and if any of those gals noticed you were making friends with the guys there too, that works in your favor. they don't want a rogue wolf, they want a social animal.

but a civilized one. no howling.

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1 hour ago, vike daddy said:

excellent! and if any of those gals noticed you were making friends with the guys there too, that works in your favor. they don't want a rogue wolf, they want a social animal.

but a civilized one. no howling.

Co-Ed Flag Football is this saturday but it might be canceled cause its supposed to rain all week here in Houston smh

Edited by Texansfan713
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Singles events sound really fun. I live in a smallish city, so we don't have stuff like that. I mainly just take my dog to the dog park to meet new people. I'm not creeping on people at the dog park. My dog and I both need to be socialized lol. I'm just there to meet new people.

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18 hours ago, MOSteelers56 said:

Singles events sound really fun. I live in a smallish city, so we don't have stuff like that. I mainly just take my dog to the dog park to meet new people. I'm not creeping on people at the dog park. My dog and I both need to be socialized lol. I'm just there to meet new people.

yeah I should have done this years ago.  aside from going to sporting events and the mall on occasion im not really a social type of person. im starting to change that. 

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