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Hopkins traded from Texans to Arizona


The Gnat

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1 hour ago, ET80 said:

I want it to be legit. For Nuk's sake. I want him in Arizona.

I want to see Deshaun Watson traded to New England or Los Angeles - give him a fresh start in a city where his superhuman talents will be front and center in large NFL markets, where he will be recognized as one of the greatest talents currently in the league.

I want to see JJ Watt in Green Bay, where he can play at home in front of his family. Watt is the most amazing ambassador this city has ever had, he's done more for Houston than many politicians. Watt was arguably the best defensive player in football for a period of time, he gave his body up for this team - literally. Watt deserves to play in front of his family and wife (who isn't too far out in Chicago). 

I want to see Andre Johnson get an opportunity as a Director of Player Personnel for the 49ers. His prime was in a Kyle Shanahan offense, and he was a freak of nature who was done wrong by this regime. He has a desire to be in a front office, and he apparently has a good feel for such a role - don't let this current regime ruin that.

I want guys like Larmey Tunsil, Zach Cunningham, DJ Reader, Berdnardrick McKinney, Whitney Mercilius somewhere else. Anywhere else. These guys deserve better.

I want Bill O'Brien to have the roster he wants. I want him to get David Johnson trying to get to the edge and getting cut down deep in the backfield. I want him bringing in Christian Hackenberg to play QB, so we can watch these two fail in new and entertaining ways. I want him relying on guys like Will Fuller and Keke Coutee at WR, fragile bodies who clearly don't put in the work in the off-season to keep their bodies ready and - in th case of Coutee - learn their playbooks. I want him working with four TEs, because who the absolute hell needs FOUR TEs!? 

I want all of this for BoB because I want BoB to fail at football. I want him to go 0-16 with the Texans, then keep his job and go 0-16 again. I want him to lost 17-16 on a walk-off pick six on a horrible screen pass call on 3rd and 3 with 0:03 seconds left, I want him to lose 84-0 to KC, I want QBs like Chad Kelly to throw for 450/4 TDs on his defense, I want Leonard Fournette to set single season rushing records against a BoB defense, I want Derrick Henry to break that single season rushing record the very next week, I want Ryan Tannehill to throw for a perfect QB rating every game vs the Texans, I want AJ Brown, DJ Chark and TY Hilton to go ABCD on this secondary...

I don't want BoB to lose. I want him to be humiliated. He's there already, but I want him to solidify himself as the dumbest human being in football, I want him to make Chip Kelly and Marvin Lewis look like your choice of Bill (Parcells, Walsh or Belicheck). I want him out of football - not out of the NFL, not back in the NCAA, I want freaking high schools to look at him and say "No thanks, we've got our eye on the freshman biology teacher..."

I love the Texans. I sincerely do. But, I HATE Bill O'Brien - with every single fiber of my being. His arrogance and stupidity and stubbornness has taken a team that never had much to begin with (that's what happens when you're 18 years old and started off with Tony Boselli and David Carr) and really attempted to bury it further under ground. He made people in a football city hate football, and he doesn't deserve the passion we put into our team. And I don't just want him fired, I want him fired into the sun.

And with that... the Texans 2020 season has been cancelled due to O'Brienvirus. This quarantine won't end until BoB is gone.

@ramssuperbowl99 - hope this rant is good enough. I think you're right, teamless is the way to go, but let's take some calls, see who can sign me as a FA. You're my agent on this one, per your request.

I laughed way too hard at this. As a fellow fan, even if we are division rivals, I feel very, very bad for you (not the other Texans fans that called our organization trash during the playoffs though, who never ate their crow btw. I'm happy this is happening to them but I'll leave out the @). I'd lose my ish too if I were you.

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On 3/17/2020 at 1:09 AM, Counselor said:

@ET80 PM sent

Did it involve a detailed plan of how to avoid capture and blame for the untimely death of B.O.B?  Because I think that's all that matters to ET right now! 

Just saying!

Edited by Nabbs4u
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2 hours ago, ET80 said:

I want it to be legit. For Nuk's sake. I want him in Arizona.

I want to see Deshaun Watson traded to New England or Los Angeles - give him a fresh start in a city where his superhuman talents will be front and center in large NFL markets, where he will be recognized as one of the greatest talents currently in the league.

I want to see JJ Watt in Green Bay, where he can play at home in front of his family. Watt is the most amazing ambassador this city has ever had, he's done more for Houston than many politicians. Watt was arguably the best defensive player in football for a period of time, he gave his body up for this team - literally. Watt deserves to play in front of his family and wife (who isn't too far out in Chicago). 

I want to see Andre Johnson get an opportunity as a Director of Player Personnel for the 49ers. His prime was in a Kyle Shanahan offense, and he was a freak of nature who was done wrong by this regime. He has a desire to be in a front office, and he apparently has a good feel for such a role - don't let this current regime ruin that.

I want guys like Larmey Tunsil, Zach Cunningham, DJ Reader, Berdnardrick McKinney, Whitney Mercilius somewhere else. Anywhere else. These guys deserve better.

I want Bill O'Brien to have the roster he wants. I want him to get David Johnson trying to get to the edge and getting cut down deep in the backfield. I want him bringing in Christian Hackenberg to play QB, so we can watch these two fail in new and entertaining ways. I want him relying on guys like Will Fuller and Keke Coutee at WR, fragile bodies who clearly don't put in the work in the off-season to keep their bodies ready and - in th case of Coutee - learn their playbooks. I want him working with four TEs, because who the absolute hell needs FOUR TEs!? 

I want all of this for BoB because I want BoB to fail at football. I want him to go 0-16 with the Texans, then keep his job and go 0-16 again. I want him to lost 17-16 on a walk-off pick six on a horrible screen pass call on 3rd and 3 with 0:03 seconds left, I want him to lose 84-0 to KC, I want QBs like Chad Kelly to throw for 450/4 TDs on his defense, I want Leonard Fournette to set single season rushing records against a BoB defense, I want Derrick Henry to break that single season rushing record the very next week, I want Ryan Tannehill to throw for a perfect QB rating every game vs the Texans, I want AJ Brown, DJ Chark and TY Hilton to go ABCD on this secondary...

I don't want BoB to lose. I want him to be humiliated. He's there already, but I want him to solidify himself as the dumbest human being in football, I want him to make Chip Kelly and Marvin Lewis look like your choice of Bill (Parcells, Walsh or Belicheck). I want him out of football - not out of the NFL, not back in the NCAA, I want freaking high schools to look at him and say "No thanks, we've got our eye on the freshman biology teacher..."

I love the Texans. I sincerely do. But, I HATE Bill O'Brien - with every single fiber of my being. His arrogance and stupidity and stubbornness has taken a team that never had much to begin with (that's what happens when you're 18 years old and started off with Tony Boselli and David Carr) and really attempted to bury it further under ground. He made people in a football city hate football, and he doesn't deserve the passion we put into our team. And I don't just want him fired, I want him fired into the sun.

And with that... the Texans 2020 season has been cancelled due to O'Brienvirus. This quarantine won't end until BoB is gone.

@ramssuperbowl99 - hope this rant is good enough. I think you're right, teamless is the way to go, but let's take some calls, see who can sign me as a FA. You're my agent on this one, per your request.

I know that you are in a bad place right now, ET, but this was a great read! This is what 100% pure sincerity reads and feels like as a fan at times.

Edited by JustAnotherFan
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9 hours ago, ET80 said:

@ramssuperbowl99 - hope this rant is good enough. I think you're right, teamless is the way to go, but let's take some calls, see who can sign me as a FA. You're my agent on this one, per your request.

Teamless is way underrated. And good. I'm updating my avatar to reflect the type of representation that you can expect.

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40 minutes ago, ramssuperbowl99 said:

Teamless is way underrated. And good. I'm updating my avatar to reflect the type of representation that you can expect.

Bird law. I like this.

Does this mean I'm an Eagles fan!?

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8 hours ago, LuckyNumber11 said:

Also, I really hope that David Johnson goes for 1500 and 1000 like he had always hoped for. He's a great person and someone who's easy to root for. 

That said, I don't think he ever will. And I can't wait wait to see Kyler throwing to Nuk.

he needs to go for 2000 for this trade to even be decent.  i can see the Texans fans booing him when he gets tackled for lossed or fumbles.

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