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Relationship Advice Thread


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On 6/25/2020 at 2:47 PM, vikesfan89 said:

Do you have the problem saying "I love you" too anyone or just romantically?

Sorry, just saw this. I do struggle with saying it to people. I'm not sure why. Probably some deeply rooted issue that I'm too ignorant to explore. 

I say it to my wife all the time now, but rarely to anyone else unless they initiate it. Even then I feel uncomfortable. The thing is- I do love a lot of people, and have a lot of people who love me. I'm a lucky man in that regard. It's just vocalizing it that's the issue. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I hooked up w my apartment neighbor the first night living in my new apartment. Then later that night she was pounding on my door and I instantly regretted doing anything with someone with such close proximity so I haven’t talked to her since outside of saying I wasn’t mad about the prior night the morning after.

A 20 year old chick that graduated after my brother added me on snap recently and we hooked up but she’s immature (and told me the other day she had a boyfriend which was news to me) so I’m probably done w her but she’s still sending nudes. 

And a server I worked with has told my coworkers she’s into me and blushes any time now I say anything remotely flirtatious. I’m thinking about pursuing something with her which would be my first real thing non hookup post divorce. I usually say I don’t want a gf to everyone but this one is a dork and one of the kinder people I’ve met so i think I’d totally be interested in going somewhere w it. 

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8 hours ago, Tyty said:

I hooked up w my apartment neighbor the first night living in my new apartment. Then later that night she was pounding on my door and I instantly regretted doing anything with someone with such close proximity so I haven’t talked to her since outside of saying I wasn’t mad about the prior night the morning after.

A 20 year old chick that graduated after my brother added me on snap recently and we hooked up but she’s immature (and told me the other day she had a boyfriend which was news to me) so I’m probably done w her but she’s still sending nudes. 

And a server I worked with has told my coworkers she’s into me and blushes any time now I say anything remotely flirtatious. I’m thinking about pursuing something with her which would be my first real thing non hookup post divorce. I usually say I don’t want a gf to everyone but this one is a dork and one of the kinder people I’ve met so i think I’d totally be interested in going somewhere w it. 

Oh man, hopefully the neighbor isnt a crazy one. Ive had more than my fair share of insane women during my single days. Ill just say the few...errrr...many minutes definitely are not worth all the drama that comes with it. 

 

The dorky ones are usually the most chill and down to earth. Im extremely attracted to a cute nerdy woman in glasses. Good luck there, but be careful with the random hook ups...we are in the middle of a pandemic, and the 20-30 year olds are the driving force of cases right now.

Edited by WizeGuy
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On 7/26/2020 at 9:50 PM, 49ersfan said:

So a random girl added me on IG last week, no followers in common or anything like that. She looked cute in her profile pic (her profile is private) so i accepted. I asked if we knew each other, she said she was wondering the same as i always popped up in her suggestions. She's never been on my suggestion list though. Also says she splits time between the city i live in and another one thats 4 hours drive away, and she'll be moving full time here in a couple of months as shes just graduated. Anyways, we chat a little bit for a few days, i ask her out for a drink, and she says she'll be in the city in 2 weeks and we can meet up then. 

Now, she's got a lot of posts spanning 7 years, pics with her family/friends, plenty of followers, and when i googled her full name i found her thesis topic. She was also quoted in a couple of articles from her university newspaper. So all seems real. 

However, I've got some worries. Obviously we're in a pandemic. Now, my plan was to wear a mask and keep distance until and if i build a connection, then include the person i'd be dating in my social "bubble". But i'm still apprehensive to meet someone new. And also....it felt way too easy to talk to her and for her to say yes to meeting. It was like a conversation i have on tinder/bumble. 

We agreed to meet, but i'm weary of an ulterior motive...it was just too easy. 

Well, it was nice knowing you...on this internet website.

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On 8/28/2020 at 1:09 AM, Tugboat said:

Well, it was nice knowing you...on this internet website.

Too late, he's being held for ransom now.

I've got... $3.21 and a... button to a coat. Or pants. Probably pants, I don't really wear coats anymore. Anyone else want to put in on paying this ransom?

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15 minutes ago, ET80 said:

Too late, he's being held for ransom now.

I've got... $3.21 and a... button to a coat. Or pants. Probably pants, I don't really wear coats anymore. Anyone else want to put in on paying this ransom?

You’re still wearing pants five months into a pandemic? Look at Mr. Fancy over here. 

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11 hours ago, LETSGOBROWNIES said:

Technically, but he cuts the crotch out.

How much pant cant you actually technically remove, before they become "chaps"?

 

I feel like academic scholarship on the subject has always focused primarily on the posterior coverage level.  Assless Chaps and the like, a la "Magical Michael and that the Key to Eternity", or whatever that movie was called.

 

But like...how much butt can you show?

 

 

 

I only know about actual rodeo chaps and english dressage chaps and chainsaw chaps...that all show full ***.

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On 6/25/2020 at 9:55 AM, ET80 said:

By the end of the night, I get her number and we part ways. The very next day, I call her up to see if she wanted to get out and get some wine and dinner (different "local" wine bar this time) and she quickly agrees. We partied like rock stars that night, it was all over the place.

So reading through this all again, this part just makes me think, I spent a lot of years in relationships, the feeling out stages and the whole stage where I was getting to know women, in the "will they, won't they" nonsense that I see so many questions in this thread about. "She doesn't always text back right away, what does that mean?" "I'm unsure how the date went, what do I do?" "I think this woman likes me, but I really don't know" "how do I tell this chick I'm interested without blowing it?" and just all the crap that has littered the hundreds and hundreds of pages this thread has gone through over all the year. 

But three years into the relationship with the woman I'm absolutely sure is *the one*, I've still never had one of those questions; not as we started to get to know one another, not as we started to date, not as our feelings started to grow, and not as we explore the life we're planning for ourselves and our future together. 

So I guess my point is, when it's with a person who really likes you and with who you really click and will really be able to develop things with long term, all the other bull**** that gets in the way of just creating the relationship just goes away. You will connect, and you'll both know you connect and you'll both do what needs to be done to foster that connection. Relationships can be hard, as you try to overcome your differences together, but when it's with someone that you're supposed to be with, creating the connection is never hard.

So to all you other guys/gals out there, quit putting so much energy into the concept of fostering relationships that aren't just clear as day developing organically. You'll know when it's not something you're just wasting your time on.

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