Shanedorf Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 (edited) My future wife and I originally met in HS; we hung out with the same circle of friends and partied together. (frequently !) We dated other people though and never hooked up in HS, just good HS friends. When I went off to college, I met tons of cool people including a guy who I became good friends with via chem class and drinking beer. When junior year rolled around my HS friend sent me the application for a semester abroad program, but I couldn't go because of class schedules. But she was going. So I gave the application to my drinking buddy and he wanted to go. So I introduced them to one another He and my HS friend went off to Europe together, fell in love and decided to get married. Since I introduced them, I stood up in their wedding. So happy for the two of them. Meanwhile, I had a gf in college and the 4 of us did a ton of stuff together. HS Friend + Drinking Buddy, me and my gf. We went on ski trips, camping trips, concerts all kinds of great fun for the four of us. We were a crew and those were fantastic times Unfortunately, my drinking buddy then got a rare bone cancer and he fought hard for 5 years, but eventually the cancer metastasized, came back with a vengeance and he died at 30 yrs old. Wicked. After standing up in their wedding, I was now pall bearer at his funeral and my HS friend was now a widow. She was completely devastated. About 6 months later, my gf died suddenly from a brain aneurysm; it happened in the blink of an eye. She was laying on the couch one afternoon, moaned loudly, rolled over and was gone. Complete devastation. Its hard to even type it now. I stayed in touch with my HS friend, the widow, and when she came out to CA for a conference - the two of us had dinner and talked. And then something happened and a lifelong friendship blossomed into something more. But it was crazy insane for us, we were both devastated from our losses and we tried to shoot down our relationship. " We're just rebounding, this can't work" " We're just grasping at old friends" "We're just trying to rescue one another, this can't possibly work out" . Even some of my friends were giving me crap, saying: "How can you hit on a widow ? You better not be effing around !" But after trying really hard to shoot it down, we finally gave up, gave in and fell in madly love. She was finishing up her PhD and we were thousands of miles and 3 time zones apart, so it was a long distance relationship for a year. But she completed her schooling, sold her house and moved out west to live with me in SoCal. We've been married for 24 wonderful years, have 2 perfect kids and we have been blessed in a thousand ways. Its certainly not a path anyone would have chosen, but I wouldn't trade it either. Its part of who we are and impacts how we view the various challenges that arise in all of our lives. Ours a crazy insane story, and we have so many pictures of the 4 of us friends together on all those trips, having the time of our lives. We had no idea what was right around the corner. Two of them died and the other two found each other...and that's our story. Edited June 25, 2020 by Shanedorf 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skywlker32 Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 Since we're telling how'd you meet stories... The dating leading up to my wife was important just like @JoshstraDaymus. After getting out of a long, terrible relationship, I hit the online dating scene and met a lot of women in a short amount of time. The first lady that I dated for any length of time was also the first one that I actually met for a date. She was a little crazy and just getting out of a marriage. She had some issues (wanting a baby immediately for one, even though we knew each other for weeks). What seemed to be the sticking point though was that she was self conscious that my long term ex was unattractive and she decided that was saying something about me. It was good though that I met her because I previously had doubts about dating divorcees. Then I tried dating someone that was 6 years younger than me. She was sweet and pretty, but did as you'd expect a ~24 yo to do and drank heavily often. She worked odd hours as a nurse, but we made time to hang out. She started to get clingy (talking about marriage before even meeting any friends or family) and it was getting close to Christmas time. This was the first girl that I actually took my stand and broke up with instead of the other way around. I previously just couldn't acknowledge the end of a relationship. Then there was some others in between before I met the last girl that I dated before my wife. She was going through a rough divorce (lots of drama) and was still openly dating another guy while we were dating. I wasn't thrilled about it, but I had kind of decided that she would be the last person that I date from one of the apps. She was eventually just too hard to plan anything with to bother anymore. A week or so later, my friend tells me that I should stop out at the bar. It was a Thursday, but I figure I can hang for a bit. On my way there, she tells me it was a girls night that I am crashing, but I'm already on my way so whatever. She then introduces me to her friend (my now wife and whom she had been trying to introduce me to for a while) and we just hit it off. She was going through a divorce (apparently I have a type?), but my friend still wanted us to meet way before this. She had her long weekend kind of ruined by her uncle's funeral (she did NOT like him). She was supposed to be going hiking with a guy that she had been casually seeing (part of her plan to experience a lot of guys). Before I leave, I ask for her number and she just says to get it off of our common friend. I assumed that meant she wasn't interested and just didn't want to say. The next day, before our friend responds with her number, I got a friend request from my now wife. We chat and eventually plan a date. The location gets changed because she was bringing her dog and the weather was going to be bad out (can't dine outside with the dog then) so I offer to make dinner at my place. I happen to make Salmon, brussel sprouts, and sweet potato, her favorite meal combo. Things go well, but she was still seeing the other guy for a bit and even goes to London with him (she said it was more about the free trip than going with him, but I wasn't so sure). When she came back was when she decided we would be exclusive. Another dog, a house and a wedding later, here we are. She is way out of my league. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pwny Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 5 hours ago, ET80 said: To all of us married/engaged guys ( @MWil23, @Daniel, @LETSGOBROWNIES, @vike daddy, @WizeGuy, @JoshstraDaymus, @pwny, @MrDrew @Shanedorf) - how did you meet your wife/significant other? Needless to say, I'll go first: My story is mediocre, but since you asked.... We met on Twitter of all places. I had absolutely zero intent of meeting literally anyone from there, let alone the love of my life. We were both really active in #Cubs twitter during the World Series run and ended up talking a bunch through that. Like nine months went by between when we had our first interaction on the site until our first date. That in itself is largely a boring story, even if I spice it up with details. Just two people who talked online a bunch, neither looking for anything, and who realized that there was the possibility for something with someone they clicked with. But to make it a little more interesting, I can actually thank footballsfuture for how things ended up. Before he got old and got a family and abandoned us all, I used to talk to @Its A Sabotage all the time, about football and the draft. He got me to rejoin twitter in 2013 to follow draft stuff. Then leading up to the 2015 season, he got me back into following the Cubs religiously by just being a hype man for how the team was going to turn around, because I was moving to Chicago that year, I dove in head first into following them again after neglecting my fandom for 7 years or so. If I never met sabo on here, I probably never meet mrs pwny. Also, kinda weirdly, when the first still of the second Jurassic World movie came out, I sent the photo to sabo and @Adrenaline_Flux in a group chat we had and said that I was going to take my future wife to see it, the movies after the first one are all mediocre but the childhood nostalgia sat hard for me. The very next day, she slid into my DMs with what was clearly the intent to take a step forward, and after a few months, I found out she’s also big into the Jurassic Park franchise and has a number of signed memorabilia from the movies. So that’s weird. She moved down to Texas before the second one came out for her doctorate externship. I moved a few months later and by that time the new movie had been out for a while and had been pretty universally disliked. But I wasn’t about to tempt fate, so we went and watched it in theaters. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikesfan89 Posted June 25, 2020 Share Posted June 25, 2020 I'm enjoying reading these stories. Shane's is a roller coaster. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
project T.O Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 So girl I hung out with tonight was nice and we had a decent time. But unfortunately there is nothing there. Was nice to comeback to all these cool and kind of inspiring stories though. But that’s about as much as I can add as ive never been much for serious relationships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MdTitansFan56 Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 Alright folks, met a girl through Facebook beginning of the month. We talked for a week then met up and went great. Definitely into each other. Went out 2 more times in subsequent weeks. She's a terrible texting, has been the entire time. Last week we hung out went great said to each other that we are really into each other. She had family come into town and they all went out of town as well so she was busy the rest of the week as well as this week. During their little trip she got even worse at responding would open snaps no response. I asked if everything is ok she said "lol everything's ok". We had plans for Thursday when she got back. She drove 3 hours home and came over. Seemed off when she was here, also had friends coming into town so she couldn't stay too long. Her friends called half hour later said they couldn't get into the house so I told her not to worry about it we will reschedule. She text me later said I was sweet and thanks for understanding. Now it's back to the whole barely responding. Any tips on how to not overthink this? Or should I just cut contact and see if she actually gets up with me when her friends go back to the city? I hate current dating scene I tell ya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vike daddy Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 20 minutes ago, MdTitansFan56 said: Any tips on how to not overthink this? Or should I just cut contact and see if she actually gets up with me when her friends go back to the city? how about using the shocking method of politely asking her what she would like from the relationship. and discussing with her what your concerns are? does it really have to be any more difficult than that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MdTitansFan56 Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 6 minutes ago, vike daddy said: how about using the shocking method of politely asking her what she would like from the relationship. and discussing with her what your concerns are? does it really have to be any more difficult than that? It shouldn't be haha, but I'm an over thinker. I also had this plan but wanted to do it in person but have no idea when that will be as she is booked for the next week. Thanks @vike daddy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
49ersfan Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 (edited) So a random girl added me on IG last week, no followers in common or anything like that. She looked cute in her profile pic (her profile is private) so i accepted. I asked if we knew each other, she said she was wondering the same as i always popped up in her suggestions. She's never been on my suggestion list though. Also says she splits time between the city i live in and another one thats 4 hours drive away, and she'll be moving full time here in a couple of months as shes just graduated. Anyways, we chat a little bit for a few days, i ask her out for a drink, and she says she'll be in the city in 2 weeks and we can meet up then. Now, she's got a lot of posts spanning 7 years, pics with her family/friends, plenty of followers, and when i googled her full name i found her thesis topic. She was also quoted in a couple of articles from her university newspaper. So all seems real. However, I've got some worries. Obviously we're in a pandemic. Now, my plan was to wear a mask and keep distance until and if i build a connection, then include the person i'd be dating in my social "bubble". But i'm still apprehensive to meet someone new. And also....it felt way too easy to talk to her and for her to say yes to meeting. It was like a conversation i have on tinder/bumble. We agreed to meet, but i'm weary of an ulterior motive...it was just too easy. Edited July 27, 2020 by 49ersfan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vike daddy Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 9 hours ago, 49ersfan said: We agreed to meet, but i'm weary of an ulterior motive...it was just too easy. what would be her motive you're concerned about? she going to rob or kidnap you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikesfan89 Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 5 hours ago, vike daddy said: what would be her motive you're concerned about? she going to rob or kidnap you? You must not spend enough time on the internet You can't trust anybody Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikesfan89 Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 she seems like a legit person though. Maybe she thinks you look like prince charming? Just keep your guard up and go for it imo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vike daddy Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 4 hours ago, vikesfan89 said: You must not spend enough time on the internet You can't trust anybody but... but... but... YOU'RE on the internet right here... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikesfan89 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 43 minutes ago, vike daddy said: but... but... but... YOU'RE on the internet right here... Which is why I don't trust any of you people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
49ersfan Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 (edited) On 7/27/2020 at 9:42 AM, vike daddy said: what would be her motive you're concerned about? she going to rob or kidnap you? Lol no nothing like that. Maybe a scam or something. Anyways I'll go through with it for now, but just keep my guard up. Edited July 29, 2020 by 49ersfan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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